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The Excuse Machine

Every day you are faced with options that could change your life. Some options, or opportunities appear to be as small as a seedling while others seem to be as grand as a Mountain.

You sift through your programming, beliefs and projections then react. Or you do nothing. What you do or not do depends on your habitual patterns. These patterns are set in place by your unconscious mind at various stages of your development.

You sometimes have the same excuses you’ve grown comfortable with and at other times you think of new excuses. When examined objectively you can see that the “new excuse” really has the same essence as all of your other excuses. It’s their fault, not yours, is a common theme.

What an excuse when examined is fear. You want to date that certain person but you have a fear that you’ll be rejected, so you think of an excuse to not approach the person of interest. You want to become more intimate with your partner and yet because of fear you think of all kinds of excuses to avoid commitment.

Or how about that job you secretly want? Are you staying in a job you aren’t happy with because you’ve sold yourself excuse after excuse as to why you can’t leave and go after the job you really want?

The best person I know of who can break any excuses you may keep hanging onto is, Owen Fitzpatrick, who can be reached at, http://www.owenfitzpatrick.com. Owen helped me get rid of a lot of my excuses in a very short amount of time. You can find out more about Owen at the end of the article.

Let’s take a look at an excuse and deconstruct it.

For years I wanted to write a book, and had loads of excuses as to why I couldn’t. I had excuse after excuse, I didn’t have the time, my grammar wasn’t up to par, I wanted to write the “perfect” book.

First of all it doesn’t matter if the grammar is perfect or not, hire an editor or go to the local college and hire an English Major. Next, the “No time” excuse. When do you not have time to do what you really want to do? I had time to go to the movies, I had time to have pizza with friends, I had time to do Facebook. And that’s when it hit me, I was heaping excuse after excuse onto the purpose of my soul which was to write and to help others. As far as writing the “perfect book”, is there such a thing? My new belief is that everything is perfect. Everyone is perfect just the way they are.

I now write for the invisible audience in my head. But before I write, I choose a target audience and write for them. I visualize them reading it. I pretend there is someone reading my work who absolutely loves it. I see the readers’ face light up as they read the words on the pages. I get out of my world and jump into theirs.

The 3 Keys to stop the Excuse Machine are:

1. Look at the reality of the situation, not what you’ve blown it out of proportion to be. If you ask that person out and they say “no.” Is your world going to end? Of course not! There are over 6 billion people on the planet, go and ask another person out and keep doing so until you find someone. Be present in the moment you speak to that person, let them feel you’re centered and masculine if you’re a man, if you’re a woman let that person feel your femininity pouring out of your open heart.
Time? Time isn’t an issue because time doesn’t exist, it’s all in your mind. You and I make up time, we can make it slow down or speed up. I wrote two and a half books in one weekend. So, you can do anything you set your mind to do, anything.
Perfection: Perfection is what you make of it.You can say a certain situation is bad or good. If someone you fancy doesn’t fancy you, you can make up excuses to not give the other millions of people in the world a chance or you can say, “Thank-God it didn’t work out, I now know who not to be with, NEXT!” Because the truth is, there are many people who fancy you, who want you more than they’ve ever wanted anyone, you’re just making up so many excuses you can’t see them.
If you want to make a personal change in your life, stop making excuses now.

I’d like to thank Owen Fitzpatrick of Ireland, known as the best NLP practitioner in Europe and the UK, for the idea of this article. I told him I wanted to write but haven’t because I couldn’t think of what to write about. Owen said, “Why don’t you write about excuses?” Owen is a Master NLP Trainer, Speaker, Therapist, Communications Consultant, author of “Not Enough Hours”, an Irish Bestseller and co-author with Dr. Richard Bandler of “Conversations: Freedom is everything and love is all the rest.” You can reach Owen for a consultation at, http://www.owenfitzpatrick.com.

Susan Barnes is a success coach, author of 8 books, and an international speaker about success and charisma. Susan has appeared on numerous radio and tv shows including, The Rachael Ray show. Susan has been featured on Playboy Sirius radio as a guest relationship advice expert. She can be personally reached via her website at Contact Susan.

Copyright @ 2010 by Susan Barnes. All rights Reserved.

Download the PDF of “The Excuse Machine” by Susan Barnes