How To Be Nonattached With Love By Susan Barnes

A happy life begins with tranquility of mind.” ~ Cicero

One of the most important elements for Intuition is to be nonattached to an outcome. All of us begin life with one pervading question, “Who am I?” This question is asked over and over by our subconscious mind and carries over into our conscious life.

Anytime a question is asked, our unconscious mind searches for an answer and brings it to our conscious awareness through our actions and thoughts. Along with the basic question of “Who am I?” we also ask other questions that affect the kind of people and situations we attract into our life.

The question I used to ask myself was, “What’s the end game?” Because of this question, I became attached to the outcome of any situation whether it pertained to business or to personal relationships. As a result, the word, game brought out the competitiveness in me and in my mind I had to “win” at everything I did.

This question served me well in work yet it cost me dearly in relationships and creativity. After much soul searching through books, seminars, healing, and meditation, a new question bubbled up which was, “How can I tap into the creative energy of love?”

My life turned on a dime. The first thing to happen was my attachment to how I thought a project’s outcome should go left my awareness and the need to dominate business situations turned into a need for a win-win, I wanted what was right for the other party as well as myself. I began to tell the truth even though my conditioning was that if I told the complete truth in business I would lose money, the opposite is true, the more truthful I became the more abundance I attracted.

Writing flowed for me the way a boat sails down a stream. Books and articles were completed with their natural ending rather than a forced ending.

A byproduct of attachment is control. I knew a woman who said she practiced nonattachment with ease. When I asked her how she did this, she said that when someone angered or upset her she went “cold” and then she would drop them without letting them know why. That isn’t nonattachment, that is attachment to control.

When we’re attached to control, we can’t hear the whisperings of our soul.

Here’s a beautiful story by Richard Bach illustrating nonattachment.

“There is a colony of creatures living under rocks at the bottom of a raging river. One day, one of these creatures decided to stop clinging on to the rocks. He released himself, surrendering to the flow of the current. At first, the creature tumbled about and smashed into the rocks and weeds of the river. But, instead of returning to a clinging life, he continued his journey. Soon he learned the way of the river and his trip became fast and enlightening. Weeks later, he passed another group of creatures clinging to the rocks in the same way that he had before. One of the creatures saw him coming and screamed to his peers, “Behold the Messiah has arrived.”

As we begin the new year, let’s go over what we’re attached to that no longer serves our higher needs. Write the answers to these questions on a piece of paper.

What people are in your life who are draining your energy?
What things are no longer necessary?
Does guilt hook you?
What emotions are you attached to that hinder your growth? Anger? Depression?
Let your intution guide you in asking the right questions. Let your higher self speak to you. Open your heart, listen to your soul. What are you hooked on that you need to let go of? Write it all down.
Picture yourself holding a kite, imagine what it is you are attached to, imagine it as a photograph. Place this photo of your attachment on the front of the kite, feel a spring breeze blow across your face, close your eyes, take a deep breath, exhale, let go of the kite with love.

Practice nonattachment with love. For a long time I had great difficulty with nonattachment. Like the creature in the Bach story, I clung desperately to the riverbank, which took on different forms such as dysfunctional relationships, bad habits, wanting to be the center of attention and expectations of things working out the way my ego wanted them to.

The moment I let go of these attachments, a funny thing happened. I wrote five books in the course of a year, people I clung to left my life anyway and upon their departure, other people entered my life, people who brought joy and happiness. Opportunities opened up like never before.

When you let go, your energy pattern shifts and your vibrations resonate at a higher level. When your energy shifts, you attract people and situations of like energetic patterns.

Download PDF of “How To Be Nonattached With Love” by Susan Barnes

Susan Barnes is a success coach, author of 8 books, and an international speaker about success and charisma. Susan has appeared on numerous radio and tv shows including, The Rachael Ray show. Susan has been featured on Playboy Sirius radio as a guest relationship advice expert. She can be personally reached via her website Contact Susan.